Bayonetta may just make your head explode

Bayonetta is a new action game in the linear kill everything that’s thrown at you style of the Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden variety.  There’s a lot of similarities especially with the former, given that both were directed by Hideki Kamiya, and from a purely game mechanics perspective, Bayonetta is certainly an evolution.

Bayonetta is also a 10 foot tall witch with a sexy English accent, naughty librarian glasses and sassy high heel-machine gun shoes.  Her hair would put Crystal Gayle to shame.  In fact, her skin tight body suit is made out of her own hair, which she can turn into giant fists or monsters to take out her angelic foes.  This renders her more or less nude, except for some strategically places wisps of hair.

The backstory is that for eons, the Lumen Sage and Umbran Witches struck a balance between light and dark in the world, and they were all cool with that until the crap hit the air conditioning, leaving Bayonetta as the last of the Umbran Witches.

You get a little taste of this at the beginning of the game, then you’re launched into the ‘present’.  As Bayonetta starts, the character is a blank slate, with her history further revealed as you progress through the game.  The storytelling aspect works for the most part, but it really is a goofy, juvenile and over the top story through and through.  The thing is, this actually works in it’s favour, as such an outlandish and sometimes hilarious world seems like the only place such a protagonist could exist, and it works in it’s own way.  The best way to describe it is sublimely ridiculous.  If “nuance” and “thought provoking” are prerequisites in your idea of a good game, then you need to look elsewhere.

The one thing that makes or breaks a game like this is the fighting mechanic, and Bayonetta completely nails it.  You have your typical punch and kick buttons, but the dodge trigger is the most welcome addition.  A well timed dodge lets you enter Witch Time (and when I say Witch I mean Bullet) slowing down your enemies and giving you an advantage.  The boss fights are amazingly well executed, and there’s something downright sacrilicious in kickgunning the crap out of a 20 story tall “Cardinal Virture” that’s trying to hammer you into the ground.  Bayonetta features 5 difficulty modes including a one button ultra-easy mode, which I tried, and found more entertaining than expected, and the “Infinite Climax” mode, which is only available when “Hard” mode is completed.

The currency in Bayonetta comes in the form of collectible halos, which are more than a little reminiscent of the gold rings from Sonic – odd at first, but you get used to it.  With the halos you can buy new weapons and special items, like health regenerating lollipops.  Yep.  Just another of those little details that give the world of Bayonetta the WTF crown.

The graphics are great, and work to sell the universe of Bayonetta.  The settings are well-realized, from the made up city of Vigrid to the set pieces taking place on large chunks of architecture tumbling through space.  Some of the set pieces are absolutely stunning.  It’s all rendered in that extra plastic-y shiny style that we’ve come to expect of Japanese action games, and it all just meshes so well in it’s own universe that it becomes an experience, right down the little butterflies that burst out of Bayonetta when she double jumps, and the quips about pole dancing as she executes a combo with a funky longstaff.  The music and ambient sounds also work to sell the non-stop kinetic reality by using a combination of J-Pop and jazz riffs.  Although the dialogue is corny to the nth degree, the voice actors all do a great job of selling it, especially the main character herself.

All in all, Bayonetta is a downright blast to play, although it’s hard to judge whether the aesthetic is supposed to be the epitome of Japanese gaming, or a well-constructed satire.  Ultimately that doesn’t really matter, because whether you accept it at face value, or with an ironic wink, it’s all about the gameplay.  On that level, Bayonetta delivers, again and again.

Final note:  Although I’ve only played it on the 360, many reports suggest that the PS3 port suffers from major pauses, and if you have the option to choose between the 360 or PS3, get the 360 version.